Yesterday I forgave someone. I didn't just say the words 'I forgive you' for the sake of saying them, I said them knowing that in my heart I truly had forgiven them. God did something incredible in my heart on Sunday night: during those hours I spent hanging out with Him, He opened the eyes of my heart in such a way that enabled me to understand what true and full forgiveness is. Previously in my life I'd heard the phrase 'Christ forgave and so we should forgive', but had just looked upon that as a rule, heard it as 'we have to forgive others because Christ forgave us'. It made forgiveness into an obligatory thing for me. But this revelation that God gave me changed that. No longer were my eyes immediately drawn to the words 'we should forgive', but instead to the words 'Christ forgave'.
Christ forgave us, and He didn't just forgive us past tense, He is still forgiving us every day. When I take this phrase, and apply it to my own life I realise just how incredible that is; in this past year alone I have sinned every single day and every single hour. I have messed up so much, but every time I did God instantly forgave me. Realising this - how undeserved yet unrelenting God's forgiveness over me is - caused something in my heart to change. This person that I forgave yesterday; I could no longer feel anger towards them for what they had done to me, no longer think ill of them, no longer feel offence or hurt at how I'd been treated. All I could do was be completely and utterly at peace with them.
If the person I forgave is reading this, and you'll know who you are, then please know that I do truly forgive you. This new understanding and recognition I have of Christ's unconditional grace means that I can now say to you that I forgive you, and be saying it from deep inside my heart. This grace of God's has also made me realise that I myself am not perfect; I've also messed up. I've been offensive. I've caused hurt. And for that I am sorry. It's a big thing for me, saying sorry. I have to remove my pride for a moment and admit that I am in the wrong, but with God's grace I know that it's okay and safe to do that. I know that although I'm making myself vulnerable by admitting my wrongdoings, God has already forgiven me for those sins and will protect me in my vulnerable state. So please know that I am sorry, and that I forgive you.
Those of you that are reading this wondering why I chose to put myself in such a vulnerable position, and why I chose to say something so publicly that could easily have been said privately; the reason I wrote this post, and apologised/forgave this person somewhere you all could see, was so that you could also see that it's okay to make ourselves vulnerable. So many of us are afraid to apologise or forgive because we fear it means giving up our pride and making ourselves succeptable to potential rejection from those we are apologising to or forgiving. The truth is; God has already forgiven us, He has already seen our hearts and knows that we are sorry, and He is still for us regardless. Because of that, we can go to others and lay our pride aside knowing that God is there beside us, supporting us and protecting our hearts. If there's someone you know you need to forgive, or someone you know you owe an apology to, can I be so bold as to challenge you to go and do whatever it is you need to do? If someone's hurt you, forgive them; if you've hurt someone, apologise; even if it's something that happened years ago, do it. You never know whether that person may still be struggling with feelings of guilt or mistreatment. After all, Christ forgave and so we should forgive.